Etiquette - A code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

I think of etiquette at a spa as the expectations a spa has about its Guests' behavior while at the spa. When talking about etiquette, some people include things like being on time for appointments, cancellation policies and tipping, but I have already talked about those in previous articles and won't repeat my thoughts on those topics here. I will talk about noise.

Most spas have rules about noise in the spa. They ask Guests to turn off their cell phones and speak in quiet voices. These rules are a common courtesy to other guests at the spa and help maintain the spa ambiance. Many spas say that in their policies. Here are a few examples:

• The Spa at Mandarin Oriental, Boston offers an "oasis of complete calm" and notes under Terms and Conditions in their brochure: Special Etiquette - Our Spa offers each guest the chance to relax in a tranquil setting. We appreciate you turning off your mobile phone and other electronic devices.
• The Sanctuary at Kiawah Island Golf Resort states in its brochure under Considerations - To preserve our tranquil environment, The Spa & Salon is a pager-, cell phone-, smoke- and alcohol-free environment.
• The Spa Collection of the Destination Hotels & Resorts posts this in their Spa Etiquette guide: Quiet, Please - A spa facility is an oasis of serenity, relaxation and rejuvenation. To maintain this tranquil environment, we ask that you are respectful of others' privacy, speak softly, and deactivate any disruptive communication devices, such as cell phones or pagers.

I think my favorite is from Spa Ojai at Ojai Valley Inn & Spa, which states in its spa FAQs: Freedom Zone - The Spa Village is recognized as a Freedom Zone - free from cell phones, pets, smoking and disquieting behavior. I like the integrity. This is not only stated on the web site and brochure, it is posted at the entrance to the spa (picture above). The intent is fabulous. I especially like freedom from "disquieting behavior." That says so much more than asking guests to talk softly. However, policies are more than intent. Policies require processes in place and in use that translate intent into reality. During my visit, I embraced the Freedom Zone. Not all spa guests did. The reality was that guests lounging by the lap pool spoke loudly and at length on their cell phones each day I was there. Sigh. I did not want to be the policy enforcer, so I suffered in silence. You can't relax if you're answering calls, checking emails, and texting, and neither can the person next to you (or 10 chairs away from you if you are REALLY LOUD). It always amazes me how oblivious some people are of their rude behavior.

I have unwillingly listened to phone chatter, loud conversations and bawdy laughing at other spas, as well. Some guests are there to celebrate special occasions with their friends. So if you are looking for a quiet and restful experience, look for spas that have policies that support that. Note what is not in the policies. If there is a focus on parties and social spa-ing and no mention cell phone bans or quiet, it may not have the atmosphere you want.

What's good for the spa guest is good for the spa staff. They should respect quiet as well. I dislike hearing hard soled or high-heeled shoes on hard spa floors. I dislike hearing noises from outside the treatment room while I am inside the treatment room from spa staff talking to themselves or guests, landscapers running lawnmowers or trimmers on the other side of the window, toilets flushing from a bathroom on the other side of the wall, ...the list goes on. I especially don't like chatty treatment providers during a spa service. When I go to a spa, I really am looking for the "Freedom Zone."